We need to do better

Sometimes the best way to love your town is to squint at it and say, sweet Jesus we need to do better. Bonus love-where-you-live-fuzzy-heart points if you tell us how. See the problem and fix it yourself? YES, QUEEN. Enlist a small group to help and you’ll discover that Heaven is up there, but also down here: like-minded souls doing something because they care about something, singing hallelujahs as they drink coffee out of chipped mugs and get to work building a playground or cleaning up other people’s trash. Heaven is people showing up to solve a problem, even with busy schedules and creaky hearts.

But to solve a problem, we have to first see that it exists. Rose-colored glasses are a race to the bottom. A community unwilling to confront its issues not only kills its dreams, it chokes them to death on lukewarm secretions of mediocrity. It’s a death by omission—a consistent perception of doing nothing wrong means necessary actions won’t ever be taken; a death by commission—things that are done are the wrong things to do and only hasten its demise; and death by attrition—seeing that nothing will ever get any better, the best things get smart, pack up, and move out.

This is the point where a community’s death becomes certain—not a death caused by a catastrophic cracking open of the earth that swallows the city whole or a tidal wave washing it into the sea—but a quiet, apathetic disappearing. The community fails, not with a bang, while putting up a fight, or even with a eulogy: it is forgotten.

It is a necessity, then, for the life and health of a community and all the people in it, to express and to hear criticism often. There is a potential for transformation that can only happen following the acknowledgement of a problem, a challenge, or an opportunity for improvement, so community advocates have a responsibility to identify problems as they arise.

This means some things. First of all, being critical isn’t a free pass to be a dick. While there is an unavoidable and appropriate negative connotation that comes with the word “criticism”, there’s an early variation I like better. Hop in your Time Traveling Machine and punch in the coordinates to Ancient Greece when a less-confrontational meaning of κριτικός (kritikós) was “discerning”. Discernment carries with it an idea of examination rather than confrontation. It says, “I’ve done a lot of work, learning, and thinking and this is what I’ve come up with”, and that’s a *wonderful* place to start a hard conversation. That leads to the second point—if we believe in the necessity and power of criticism, then we also need to believe in the necessity and power of communicating that criticism in ways that improve its chances of being received and acted on.

Typing “lol u suck” and expecting people to respect the opinion that comes after it is emotional gaslighting.

Criticism just for the sake of saying it is egotistical; criticism for the sake of creating change is community.

With that in mind, some thoughts about how we can do community criticism better:

Criticisms should be accurate, clear, substantiated, and are best served with a healthy dose of humility. If you think you’re right, teach us why. If you think someone is wrong, teach them why. Education is more powerful than opinion. It’s likely that your local public servants aren’t lining their pockets with money because there is none. Citizens aren’t inherently lazy, ignorant, and stupid—over time, they’ve been taught to be disengaged and that no one would listen to them anyway. Not everything is a conspiracy. Earned trust is influence. Not liking something is not the same as it not being right. Sometimes “mostly right” is as close as we can get. Shouting down critics as naysayers and trolls without asking, “Could they be right?” is laziness, not pride. Ask someone with more experience while being willing to learn and change your mind. Torpedoing the reputation of someone is almost always the wrong move. Transparent conversation means being willing to both say and hear the truth. Empathy is the path to enlightenment. You could be wrong. Don’t make it personal: emphasize policy, process, and practices. Giving grace creates greater good.

Cheer, congratulate, compliment. But because it can cut off the burdens holding it back, caring for a community should include criticism: speaking it with a spirit of restoration instead of retribution, listening to it often and more deeply than we are comfortable, talking through it at every opportunity, and being willing to acknowledge when it’s right.

And finally, I’d love to hear what *you* think: