Rose Colored Glasses are a Race to the Bottom
One of the strongest expressions of love for a community is saying, “We can do better.” Bonus love-where-you-live-fuzzy-heart points if you tell us how. See a problem and fix it yourself and you'll immediately ascend directly to heaven, clouds and trumpets and all.
Rose-colored glasses are a race to the bottom. “Compliments are true, criticisms are false” hurts people. A community unwilling to confront its issues not only kills its dreams, it chokes them to death on the secretions of its lukewarm mediocrity. It's death by omission: doing nothing wrong means necessary things aren't done; death by commission: well-intentioned things were the wrong things to do; and death by attrition: seeing what was happening, all the best things got smart, packed up, and moved out.
Heard underneath its breathy rattle of death are the words “....beautiful....vibrant....” as the community goes out, not with a bang, a parade, or even a eulogy: it quietly crumbles under the weight of ego-induced apathy until only broken hearts and dust are left.
There is a transformative power that can only be found in the words, "We're not doing this right", so we need to be willing to hear them.
This means some things.
Criticisms should be accurate, clear, substantiated, and are best served with healthy doses of humility and love. If you think you're right, teach me why. If you think someone is wrong, teach them why. Education is more powerful than opinion. The government isn't inherently evil and incompetent, citizens aren't inherently lazy and stupid. Not everything is a conspiracy. Earned trust is influence. Not liking something is not the same as it not being right. Sometimes "mostly right" is as close as we can get. Shouting down critics as naysayers and trolls without asking, "Could they be right?" is laziness, not pride. Ask someone with more experience while being willing to learn and change your mind. Transparent conversation means being willing to both say and hear the truth. Empathy is the path to enlightenment. You could be wrong. Don't make it personal: emphasize policy, process, and practices. Giving grace creates greater good.
Cheer, congratulate, compliment. But because it can cut off the weight of what's holding us back, caring for our communities should include criticism: speaking it, listening to it, talking through it, and being willing to acknowledge when it's right.
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