Lupe

“I had a home for 40 years that was completely paid off, but I lost the house because I didn't have enough money for the property taxes. I tried to stay with my mom and dad, but it’s a long story with them and we couldn't stay there anymore. I ended up going to stay with my daughter, but couldn't stay there either: there were already too many people there.

And that’s when I ended up homeless.

That night, I slept in my car on the streets with a bag of my stuff. The next day, I picked up an odd job to make some money to get a place to stay for the night, but I tripped and fell down the stairs. I couldn’t walk, so I had to crawl on my hands and knees through gravel to get to my car and then drive four blocks down to get help.

At the hospital, they told me I had a broken pelvis, a broken femur and fractured rib. They also found a tumor in my head, and tomorrow I will find out if it’s cancerous or not. Had I not had that accident, they never would have found it.

I stayed in the hospital for a couple of days and then I was released. I notified them that I had no home to go to, but I still had to leave.

I left and slept in my car for about three and a half months with a broken pelvis. I was supposed to be on bedrest for three weeks, but I had to keep moving. The most challenging part of homelessness is being safe, especially being a woman on the streets. You have to stay alert so that your stuff doesn't get stolen or you don't get hurt, especially for the moms and children that are out there. You have to be on alert all the time and keep moving. During the day, I’d walk around trying to stay alert and safe, and at night, try to find somewhere to park my car where the police wouldn't tell me to move or where nobody would try to break the window and get into the car to hurt me.

I feel that people think if you're homeless, you're automatically a bad person. They judge you. But people don’t know why someone has ended up homeless. I have one friend here whose husband died, and they had no way to make a living, so she and her kids ended up on the streets. Me, I lost my home because I couldn't pay the property taxes. The looks you get from the people sticking their noses up in the air and like ‘Oh, get away from them.’ That's the hardest thing.

Homelessness doesn’t mean someone is a bad person. Circumstances happened that they end up the way they are.. It's heartbreaking when you're safe and secure and then you end up with nothing in a matter of minutes.

For months, I had been living in my car, calling shelters everywhere and nobody had room for me. Or I was a liability because of my walker. I wasn't enough of an addict to stay at some places. Other places I had to have court cases or CPS involved with kids. I got turned away left and right.

But then one day, I called The Mustard Seed Shelter and they said, ‘Come on in. We got a room for you.’ I walked in with a walker and was barely able to move, but for the first time in about four months, I actually got some good rest. Without Mustard Seed, I’d still be in the streets. To be honest, two nights before I came here I was seriously contemplating taking my life because I was so down.

But because of Mustard Seed, I'm still here and I'm still standing. Thank God for this place, because I got here and I felt like I was home. They made me feel so wonderful. They opened their arms to me. When I got connected with Amy and Stacy, they started taking my calls personally. I was talking to one of them each and every day. It’s by the grace of God and them, otherwise I don't think I'd be alive today. I really don't. This place is such a blessing to me.

It's a home, not a shelter. You're not in a place where you feel like you're out of place. It's a home with people, children and friends and we have family dinners. I had nothing. I had no clothes, no shoes, nothing. They gave me everything I needed. This is a home.

We're a family. I've never really had that feeling that I have here. I've always had anxiety and depression. I was in a mentally abusive relationship, but here, I'm at ease. With some of the shelters, you walk in and think, ‘Oh no, I'm going to be a ward of the state,’ and that you're going to be locked down forever.

But here, they wake you up and they say, ‘Lupe, we care about you.’ It's uplifting. It's hopeful the minute you walk in the door. You're greeted with hugs, smiles and hello’s every morning. Everybody says good morning and we call each other sisters. We go out and smoke a cigarette or we sit at a table and talk. In my case, it's hard for me to sit in certain places on my tailbone, but I'll be in the room and everybody would say ‘Hey, Miss Lupe, how are you doing today?’

Here, they give you hope.”

– Lupe, Resident at The Mustard Seed Shelter

This story is part of a series for Riverfront Saginaw during Homelessness Awareness Month. Please consider donating to a local shelter during this season of giving.

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